Getting Back With An Ex-What You Need To Know
Getting back together with an ex can work out providing you follow a few simple rules.
You can’t go back
Often the past seems a rosy and comfortable place to live. You remember all the happy times together, missing out the bad bits.
What to do if you’ve lost contact
Firstly, with social media, email, texting or picking up the phone you’re not short of ways to make contact. My advice is to start with a simple text message. Ask a question? Everyone likes to talk about themselves.
Why do you want to get back with your ex?
You’ve matured and genuinely start to miss him or her. It’s funny but it often takes a clean break with years apart to make you realise what you’ve lost.
The latter is of course, the best reason for wanting to get back with your ex.
Talk to each other openly
Before you even decide to give things another go you must be very open with each other. Think about what went wrong and discuss these issues.
There are always two sides to a failed relationship. Lack of communication is a common reason for break ups. Not making enough time for each other.
Affairs are often a result of feeling unhappy. Instead of ending the relationship one of you compensates by finding someone else who has the qualities you need.
Jealousy can also kill a relationship.
These mistakes serve as valuable lessons. If you can overcome them you’ll stand a far greater chance of making it work again.
Focus on the positives.
Having talked through want went wrong start focusing on things you like about each other. These are probably what drew you together in the first place. Maybe you loved his thoughtfulness, or he loved the way you organise things.
Find common interests.
Depending how much time has passed since you were together your tastes and interests may have changed. This is just part of life. What you liked 5 or 10 years ago may be very different from what you like today.
Become friends first
Regaining trust and building a new relationship takes time. You can’t and shouldn’t expect things to go back the way they were. Starting again as friends makes it a bit easier. You’re not making any commitment but just seeing how things go at a slower pace.
If you want a lasting relationship you’ll need to put in the effort. Sliding back into old ways won’t work. It may seem easy as you both know each other so well from past times.
Some of the changes you both need to make may be quite major and challenging. However, if you both still love each other you should be prepared to do this.
What you need to ask yourself
Before you decide to start a new relationship with your ex you need to ask yourself the following. This will save you any future heartache.
Build your network of friends and maintain outside interests
You should never have to give up friends or interests in a healthy relationship. Having a circle of friends no matter how small is important.
Interests outside the relationship help to keep things fresh. You’ve always something to talk about.
Reuniting with ex partners can be wonderful. All that time apart has healed the pain and now you’re in a good place to start over. Making a relationship work requires give and take on both sides and you may need to make compromises.
I hope you’ve found this article helpful and that I’ve at least given you some hope if you’re missing your ex and want him or her back in your life.