How To Stop Feeling Lonely And Live A Happy Life
If want to know how to stop feeling lonely you’ve come to the right place.
In this article I’ll attempt to inspire you with ways to help overcome these feelings. Most of us have felt lonely at one time or another. It’s a part of life, and usually a temporary one. Whether you’ve ended a relationship, watched your adult child leave home, or suffered a bereavement, you will feel lonely.
How to stop feeling lonely after a breakup
A break up can be devastating especially if you’ve been in the relationship a long time. It can affect your confidence making you feel unworthy or unloved.
The truth is you are worthy and deserve much better. Whether it was you or your ex who ended the relationship, things will improve. You will feel happier and life will be good again.
I was heartbroken when my ex told me our relationship was over. We’d been together over twenty years and I had no idea he felt this way.
Luckily I had the support of a few close friends, but I still felt very lonely. It seemed that everyone I met was part of a couple.
Fast forward a few years and I’m in a much happier place. I live alone but I no longer feel lonely. I’ve learnt there’s a very big difference between being on your own and being lonely.
I’ve learnt to enjoy my own company and savour the many benefits of living alone. You can do what you want without being accountable to someone else.
You can eat when you want, and there’s no one to argue what to watch on tv with. I now eat dinner in comfort watching my favorite soaps.
Being on your own could be a new beginning
Suddenly finding yourself alone isn’t the end of the world. You can visit all those places you’ve been meaning to. Go on vacation and do some traveling! YOU are in complete control.
After a while you’ll begin to realise you’re not feeling lonely anymore as you’ve got so much going on in your life.
Once you’ve broken away from your ex both physically and mentally you may find he or she starts contacting you again. It’s as if they’re picking up on your positive vibes.
Having overcome the break up you’ll start to get in touch with your true self again. Often, those in a relationship tend to put their own needs to one side.
Ambition and creativity can in some cases become stifled. Learning to accept yourself the way you are can also stave off loneliness and make you feel happier.
Occasionally, a few years apart is the best medicine for getting back together. You’ve both had time and space to develop as individuals. You’ve both become stronger and far less likely to become dependant on each other again.
Feeling alone in a relationship
If you’re feeling alone in a relationship you have to decide if it’s something your partner is or isn’t doing or if it’s you. Relationships never stay the same. We all grow and develop during our lives and major events like childbirth, moving home, or career changes can all have an effect.
Growing apart is fairly common especially if you got together at a young age. Feeling lonely because you don’t have a lot in common anymore is hard to deal with. You can take steps to resolve this by finding an activity you both enjoy. Spend quality time together by going on a date each week.
If you’ve got young kids, get a babysitter. Go and see a movie or have dinner in a candlelit restaurant. Even meeting up for coffee in your lunch hour is a good way to reconnect.
Start communicating more. Busy lives often mean couples don’t spend a lot of time together. The only words you say to each other may be transactional. For example, who’s turn it is to put the rubbish out or do the grocery shopping. This could leave you feeling very lonely.
Is your relationship the real reason you’re lonely?
Sometimes you can be in a very close and loving relationship yet still feel lonely. If this is the case you examine your thoughts. Only YOU can make yourself feel happy. Circumstance has nothing to do with happiness.
It’s all to easy to blame someone else or something for the way you feel.
Before you decide your relationship is the problem, spend some time examining your thoughts. It could be that the way you’re seeing something isn’t how it really is. If you have other issues in your life you could be projecting the blame onto your partner
Feeling lonely and depressed
Feeling lonely and depressed can be a horrible combination. You can feel rejected, worthless, and even suicidal in extreme cases.
Loneliness and depression can be triggered by different reasons. Bereavement, breakups, moving to a new area, or losing your job can all cause these feelings.
You may find it hard to sleep and wake up feeling lethargic. Your concentration may be poor, and little things upset you.
You’re prone to catching colds as your immune system is weakened, and you may be more likely to turn to drugs or drink. Loneliness combined with depression is a serious mental issue.
You can help yourself by firstly accepting your feelings. Don’t try to ignore them as they won’t magically go away.
Some people are natural loners and if this is you, don’t force yourself to meet people if you don’t want to. You could end up making yourself feel worse.
Get in touch with the few close friends you may have and met up with them for coffee or a chat. Often, this social interaction may be all that’s needed to help you feel better.
Don’t compare your life to others on social media. Seeing happy photos of friends on Facebook can make you envious if your life seems flat. However, you don’t know how they’re really feeling. We can all look happy on sunny beach holidays or partying with friends.
Keep a gratitude diary.
Try and write regularly, and it will soon become a habit. Don’t make it a chore but look upon it as a positive daily ritual.
Every evening write down positive experiences, no matter how small. Think about what you’re grateful for.
You’ll be surprised at how quickly your negative thoughts will be replaced by positive ones. Depression and loneliness will start to ease and you’ll wonder why you didn’t start a gratitude journal ages ago.
Mindfulness is simply being aware of the present moment. You’re not thinking about the past or future but only what’s happening right this minute.
We become mindful when doing a task that requires concentration. Reading, coloring, or writing are all mindful tasks. You become absorbed, taking your mind off worrying or sad thoughts.
You can practice mindfulness when walking. Concentrate your mind on every step and become aware of your movements. If you’re walking in the countryside focus of the sounds and smells. Birds singing, the smell of freshly mown grass.
Only focus on the moment and resist the urge to entertain any thoughts that enter your mind. If you ignore them they will soon disappear. Walking is also great for boosting levels of serotonin, the feel good hormone.
Don’t let the opinions of others make you feel bad.
Don’t let others make you feel it’s wrong or unnatural to be on your own. This in itself can make you feel lonely or depressed. If something feels right for you then it’s ok.
Many people choose to live alone and not have partners or children. They live perfectly happy lives and enjoy the freedom it brings. Society tends to put emphasis on family life, and if this isn’t you it could make you feel inadequate.
What to do if your lonely and have no friends
If you’re lonely and have no one to turn to take a look at your lifestyle. You probably have at least a few friends but you’ve just not kept in touch.
Friendships need nurturing and you always get back what you put in to any relationship. Taking time to email or chat on Facebook is a good place to start. Meeting up for coffee and a natter is a great way to keep your friendship alive.
If you’ve lost touch with a friend it’s not the end of the world. Busy lifestyles are usually to blame. If you feel to embarrassed to call send a text or message on social media.
Ask how they are and that it would be nice to catch up sometime for a quick natter. You’re not putting them on the spot by calling, and there’s no pressure for a response.
If you meet up keep the conversation light. Ask about their family and how their life has progressed over the years. Don’t push a subject if your friend is reluctant to discuss it. Above all, stay away from religion or politics!
You could send a text or email a day or so later saying how nice it was to meet up again. If you want to renew the friendship think of things you could do to help out. Never be pushy. If your friend seems reluctant to reconnect, move on.
Feeling lonely is a state of mind. You can decide to be happy whatever the circumstance you’re in right now. Having a circle of friends you can can call on in times of need is great. However, it doesn’t guarantee happiness. As I previously mentioned, the only person who can make you happy is YOU.
Wishing you health and happiness,